Monday, November 23, 2009

Kurt Cobain Letter Before Suicide

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.

For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too f***ing sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.


Sunday, November 15, 2009

The Seeds That Cannot Grow

Once upon a time in a far far away kingdom. A King was sad because he had no son for a successor, he thought it necessary to find and select a successor. For that he made a contest, a selection in each region until the final test that will be selected by the King himself.

In the last test, only remaining 8 people who have an equivalent intelligence and pass the selection of the previous tests. For that, they must undergo the King final test at the royal capital. The King carefully selecting them one by one. In front of them, the king said, "My child. A duty as a King will not be easy. It is a mandate that must be carried with full responsibility. The eight of you was selected as the best candidate. As a final test, I will give each person 5 seeds. Plant and take care of it such you will have to take care the kingdom and the people of this country. Go home and come back 2 weeks later with a result.", the King's edict.

Two weeks later, in the presence of the king 7 candidate proudly showed their growing plants. Now it's the 8th candidate turns. He face down, look sad and ashamed. He said, "Forgive me, my king. The seeds which you gave to me, I have take care of it carefully, but until today, these seeds cannot grow as expected. I have failed you my king, but I've tried as much as possible, but do not know what do I do wrong."

But the king appears smiled with satisfied, he even laughed out loud. Everyone who was there stared at each other surprised to see the king's reaction. Then the king patted the 8th candidate shoulder and said, "Thank you, young man. I'm happy and satisfied. My hope not in vain. There is still a young candidate future leaders among the people of this country."

Look around at all the people, the king continued. "Listen carefully. This young man has fulfilled my last hope. He was an honest young men, the future leaders of this kingdom. His seed was not grow, seems he have failed, but in fact, the seeds that I give to all of the participants had been boiled. So obviously not be able to grow despite being treated well. I'm very disappointed to see the seed that you take was growth. The 7 of you are not honest! How dare you deceive your king!"

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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Optical Illusion

Try to move back a few meter from your monitor.

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